Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Them Bones


Tonight's dinner conversation between me and Melson:

Melson: Mama, what does a boy skeleton look like?

Me: I guess just like a girl skeleton, why?

Melson: NO! Where's the weiner bone?!

Me: There's not a weiner bone (giggle, giggle)

Melson: YES THERE IS!!! (feels for his 'weiner bone') Feel it Mommy, there's a BONE in there!

Me: Um, ...no.

Boys, sheesh! This fascination with his junk is never-ending! Why, oh why, did corndogs have to be on the menu for tonight?

Friday, September 4, 2009

Bang your head!

F-bomb just keeps 'em coming!

In reference to the latest book she's reading, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, she says:

"The Dad in this book says he doesn't care for heavy metal music - that's odd."

SJ's reply: "Well, not everybody likes heavy metal music."

F-bomb: "Yeah, but he's a DAD"- >pause, waiting for someone to catch on< - "Not liking heavy metal is kinda girly, and a Dad being girly is just WEIRD!"

Well-done JM! I see no tolerance for weak girly men in THIS little girl's future!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Soccer would suck.


F-bomb in the car today, completely out of the blue:

"I SURE AM GLAD they don't have soccer in the dessert! ONE: it would be hard to kick the ball in the sand, and TWO: Daddy would be even MORE SWEATY!"

OK F-bomb! Whatever you say!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

They have their moments

They love each other, they really do! Although Mel doesn't hide his adoration of F-bomb, he also doesn't hide the joy it gives him to irritate the crap out of her. Her love for him looks more like hesitant toleration to the untrained eye. Everyone tells me they will be very close. One day. Until then, even in the sweetest moments, the true undercurrents of the way F-bomb feels about him shine forth, and she gets her punches in where she can, in true F-bomb fashion...



Friday, August 21, 2009

Whatever you do...

DON'T. OPEN. THIS. BAG.




This situation is a testimony to how well the double-zip ziploc bags work. Trust, me, we would know by now if there was a leak! The "treasures" we collected from the beach at Salter's Point just are not valuable enough to open that bag and release the smells within it, in order to retrieve them. What a tease for the kiddos!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Don'tchoo judge me!!!



I know, long time no updates. Whatevah - like I tell the kids: You get whatchoo get and you don't throw a fit!

I'm not even gonna try and catch this thing up, so I will just jump in where we are right now...

Took a trip to Salter's Point yesterday with a friend and her boys since it was extremely low tide. It was rumored to have some pretty cool sea life to explore, so off we went.

Anyone who knows me is aware of my "aversion" to stepping on stuff. Like, ANY kind of stuff, grit, slime, grass, lake bottoms, etc. Heck, even the tiniest sliver of rogue ice chip coughed out of the fridge's dispenser sends me into convulsions. Yes, I know, I have a problem, but the first step is realizing and admitting you have a problem, so, step one: check! Off me.

We parked, hauled all the stuff down the steps to the "beach", and this is what I saw FIRST:


Not exactly the powder-fine white squeaky sands of the Gulf Coast, but, I was expecting that - "at least they aren't wet, icky, slimy, or jagged" I thought to myself. Still I had shoes on.

We plopped the stuff down, then continued on toward the water, because, you know, that's where the action is!

But there was one problem between us and the water, and it came in the form of this next level we had to work our way through:




OK, I had children watching me, for God's sake, so I took some deep breaths (and Melson's hand, since this stuff was slick as owl poo) and moved forward. I will take a moment to again remind you that "the fun Mom" I am not, nor have I ever tried or claimed to be. It's just not how I'm wired - so this whole experience was monumental for me on SO MANY levels.

We all "made it" to the water, physically unscathed, which is saying a lot, considering F-bomb was present. I won't mention the mental "scathing" I had endured by this point.

So the final phase of beachy goodness looked like this:


Yeah, Woot - that's what I was thinking too!!!! Every picture of feet I have from our morning was tiptoe - It is official that not one heel touched down during our excursion till we got off the "beach".

But the torture was somewhat worth it, because we did see some cool stuff, like starfish, crabs, clams, jellyfish, and some deep purple sea plant that was irredescent blue when you turned it in the light.





The highlight of the morning was when we all gathered around this "thing" with meshed teeth, that looked sort of like a piece of driftwood or a toad. I messed with it enough and the kids were squealing, we drew strangers over to look - just in time for me to really tick it off - it quickly retreated into the mud and shot out a gallon of water all over us! It scared us so bad!
We all screamed - even the stranger. SJ got the majority of the water - on her butt of course, because she was hauling booty. I swear all of us could have walked on water. Well, that was the end of the "fun" for F-bomb, and she trekked back up to the safe, dry, round rocks and sat the rest of the morning exploration out. Funny stuff.

So yeah, my "fun Mom" quotient has been maxed for the month. Let the OCD re-commence!

Friday, February 6, 2009

Get 'em F-bomb

F-bomb and I are driving quietly home from dropping off Mel at school. She says out of nowhere:

"It would be cool if I had a camera that could see if someone had darkness in their heart while we're driving. I could take a picture of them, and if they were driving a RED truck, I would send the picture to a bull and he would come and crash them all up......
>pause<
"Yeah, that would be one way to take care of it!"

Wow. Just..... wow.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Couldn't have said it better...

This was on another designer's blog, and says simply and clearly what I have tried to compose as an informative letter to my customers about the new law that is affecting me and so many others:

As most of you know I own a children's clothing business, and as of February 10, myself and thousands of others in the children's industry will be deeply affected financially or will be out of business. Remember the outcry last holiday season over lead in imported toys? In order to combat such safety issues, the Consumer Product Safety Commission has passed legislation called the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act (CPSIA). The law sets stringent guidelines for children's products containing lead and phthalates (a chemical used in some vinyl products). It is supposed to go into effect February 10th, 2009, and after that date any product intended for children ages 12 and under must meet these guidelines, and have a certificate of compliance from a CPSC-accredited laboratory. This includes not just toys, but clothing, jewelry, blankets, sheets, books, bibs, strollers, carriers, and anything else that a child under 12 might come in contact with. Sounds great, right?In theory, maybe. But in actuality the law is so far reaching that it may succeed in turning the economy upside down. For starters, the CPSIA requires end unit testing on every product intended for use by children under 12. It is the responsibility of the manufacturer to do this testing, regardless of how small the business. That means that manufacturers (like myself ) will have to pay to get every different product they offer tested. These tests have to be done at a CSPC accredited lab, and cost tens of thousands of dollars. For example if you offer 3 different types of dresses. Each dress contains 2 different fabrics, as well as buttons, and thread, so that's potentially $600 to test one dress. But if you have 3 or more styles, that's $1800. And when you get a new bolt of fabric, you need to start all over again.At present, there are no exemptions for small businesses and "micro" manufacturers and most handcraft artisans. There is no exception for quantities made, where the garments/products are made or anything else. Also, the Act takes a "guilty until proven innocent" approach, which would treat a handmade toy that doesn't meet the certification deadline of 2/10/09 as a "banned hazardous substance" which would be illegal to distribute in this country. Each infraction carries a $100,000 felony charge. This legislation is also retroactive for any pre-existing inventory as of February 10th, 2009. This means that everything on the shelves in those big (or small) stores will also be "banned, hazardous substances" - contraband.Larger corporations that can afford testing will incur thousands, maybe millions of dollars in fees, and this expense will be handed down to the consumer, probably making the prices for children's products go through the roof.This also means that after that date, even selling your kids old things on eBay or Craigslist will be illegal. Charities will not be able to accept donations without a certificate of compliance either. February 10, 2009 is being dubbed "National Bankruptcy Day" by many people in the apparel and toy industry. If this legislation is not amended, it will affect everyone from port workers to parents looking for legal products. Billions of dollars worth of children's products will have to be destroyed because they can't be legally sold, and this will cause major environmental problems.While I am all for higher safety standards and keeping our kids safe, this law is so overreaching as to put thousands on manufacturers of children's products out of business -hurting our economy and causing even more loan defaults. Though this legislation was well-intentioned, it cannot be allowed to stand as is.Please help us defend the American dream and our entrepreneurial spirit! This law affects every stay at home mom trying to help put food on the table and every grandmother knitting blankets for the local craft fair. It makes the thousands of us who have found a niche in the burgeoning children's market have to make a tough decision - continue to produce items illegally and possible incur a $100,000 fine, pay the enormous fees and raise costs of goods sold, or close up shop!Please help us!Contact your Congressperson by clicking HERE.It only takes 30 seconds!If you have an extra minute send a hard copy of the letter as well!To sign the online petition click HERE. Read more about it here at www.nationalbankruptcyday.comPlease copy and paste this on your blogs, we need all the help we can get!